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As a parent we are the leaders and coaches of our children. In addition to setting clear achievable goals it is also our job to be cheerleaders for those working on their greatness. Often time parents come to me and shrug off their children’s achievements saying things like “That was expected of them.” But I want to encourage all parents to build confidence by acknowledging even the smallest gains. By focusing on the steps young people are taking to reach their goals it draws attention to the fact that they are trying. Our society can be harsh on young people and they need the power or encouragement to start at home where they feel safe and supported.
FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Stuart Miles
We all have seen it, a toddler in a public place having a meltdown. In addition we may also witness grown people having difficultly cooperating with others. The selfish, ego that we all experience from time to time can affect our income, marriage and opportunities. The all or nothing mentality blocks our ability to see the something in the middle. Teaching children there are steps some big, some small, to getting what they want is key to a happy household and beyond. Frustration can be curbed simply by focusing on the present moment and the child’s ability to take a small action in the right direction.
Hey guys, as we get deeper into the new year you may be seeing yourself in a fresh light. If developing a meaningful union is in your plans keep these factors in mind. Women want to have fun. By that I mean they want to be with a man who enjoys life. They look for men with a sense of humor and the ability to communicate. They tend to have a higher standard for social activities compared to men but they understand a quality man knows this. Women often test men while dating. They want to ensure that he has the level of integrity they are looking for in a husband. Women know that they have a large pool to choose from so they look for the man who stands out. If a women likes a man she will want to spend more time with him. She will allow him to open up and get in heated discussions just to see how he will react. Finally guys here is what she is not telling you, woman can generally take care of themselves but most ladies are still looking for a man who will protect them in their time of need.
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I believe we are all created in the image of God and that alone demands respect. If there is conflict in relationships the first place I look is at the attitude of the partners. How they treat one another. In addition I examine how the people treat themselves because this can often reveal hidden issues that can be resolved. When family member’s commit to each other’s well being it creates a mindset in the home of unity. Everyone is on the same team and moving toward agreed goals. In football you may not always agree with your team mates but when the buzzard sounds everyone is working for the field goal. Marriage is the same way. Get one another to the end of their life feeling like a winner. It takes a choice to love. It begins with choosing to listen. Everyone has to be involved but everyone wins.
In any marriage there will be disagreements but couples who are successful with their communication are those who listen and always keep the value of their relationship in mind. They try to make sure that each person feels understood. This is done by eliminating distractions and truly listening to one another. In addition, looking at the whole idea and not getting stuck on just one small part because you disagree helps move solutions along. Problems can be solved in numerous ways as long as people are sure their points are clearly heard and their feelings are understood.
One of the major contributors to failed unity in a relationship is selfishness. When two people join together in marriage it is an opportunity to put one another first. What this means is looking for ways to help your spouse in ordinary things. Building moments together is like cement so that when the rough times hit you are able to bend and move but remain together. Selfish people want to push their ways on others while those who act lovingly look to benefit the couple as a whole.
Do you want to make an impact on your relationship with minimal effort? Consider putting down all distractions and focusing on what your partner is saying. Studies show that when couples give their undivided attention they feel connected and loved. By putting down the phone or remote and making eye contact it tells your partner that they are the most important thing in your life at that time. In addition a gentle touch communicates you are truly hearing what they are saying.
With so many things calling for our attention this new year be sure to save plenty of your time to affirm your relationship with your spouse. Verbalize what is important and how being married to your husband or wife has impacted you in positive ways. The first of any year is a good time to value those we love. The three basic steps to happiness include:
Listening - Give your partner ten minutes to discuss their feelings and then spend ten describing what you value in your marriage.
Clarity – make it clear that your marriage is important and that you are willing to put it first this year.
Respond – Being kind is important. Even if you may disagree with your spouse responding in a calm gentle manner always gets the point across no matter what the topic.
This year rediscover the reasons why you fell in love and enjoy the many to come.
As the clock starts again on a new year we look at giving our relationships a shine, to clean off any mess from the past. Remember a few things when life gets tough. Understanding is more important than winning an argument. When emotions fly take a moment to look at what your spouse is actually saying. Can you agree to some of the points he or she is making? If so will that make communication easier? Sometimes we have to agree to disagree and this is made possible when both sides see the points of a disagreement but do not what to change their convictions on the topic. Differences are just that and there is no need for harsh words or actions to try to convince someone they are wrong. Everyone has a right to their view point but when a person abuses someone for their opinion it divides a relationship. People do not always have to convince others they are right they just have to take the time to listen to one another. Finally, explain your vision for the upcoming year to your partner. When there is planning there is success, just make sure your spouse knows where you are heading.
This time of year many people are looking at bonus and overtime paychecks in hopes they can bring in a little more before the end of the year. Make sure you are not shortchanging yourself for the future. While many may be putting in longer hours think about where you want to be next year. If you have different aspirations consider spending time learning what it will take to move ahead. For some people who remain focused on the present they often don’t see the bus to their future pulling in. Want to learn a new skill put yourself in front of people who can teach you. Not sure where you want to go head for things that make you happy. A hobby can often lead to meaningful employment with a little tweaking. Look for people who are successful doing what you want to do and then invite them to lunch, send them an e-mail or call them. You will be surprised at how many people want to help. Give yourself the gift of success this season by asking for what you want and communicating your dreams to everyone who will listen.